Should I buy a tv license?

Simple question, isn’t it?

Now I hope you don’t think I’m the kind of chap to break the rules - or indeed to shirk my civic responsibilities.

But am having a bit of a dilemma on this one.  You see, until now, I haven’t had a tv license. 

Stop tutting and hear me out! 

Not everyone who watches telly in the UK needs one.  A bit like not all who travel the streets must pay road tax.

Using that example, a swathe of road users don’t pay, from classic car nuts to hybrid drivers.  And of course those two-wheeled heroes, the cyclists.

(Pedants corner - I don’t mean the drivers are half human, though they may be, just those who drive half electric cars.   By which I don’t mean they drive half a car, but rather that the car is partly electric.  And I know, there’s no such thing as road tax anyway, it’s vehicle excise duty…).

My point is that tv licenses are similar in that a whole bunch of people are exempt - oldies, students, you name it.  And this is an accepted part of the system, an imperfect but laudable attempt to make it ‘fair’ for everyone.

I have an even better excuse:  I don’t have a tv!

Though actually, even this isn’t clear-cut.  It’s true I don’t own an old-fashioned box - but I do have a fancy new computer, and I certainly download the odd programme from BBC iPlayer.  Now strictly speaking, I don’t need a license for this: the letter of the law is that you only need one if you watch ‘live as broadcast’, and I don’t. 

So I’m off the hook, right?

Actually not.  Thinking about it, my excuse was precisely analogous to the contemptible ‘we don’t avoid, we evade’ defense of Vodafone, Starbucks, Amazon and other such despicable tax-dodgers.

The letter of the law (and the whole tax system) must be tightened, though don’t hold your breath for swift action from the privileged elite presently in charge. 

But in the meantime we have a personal responsibility too; the spirit of the law is clear.  If you make millions in profit, pay your share in tax.  And if you benefit from the BBC, ditto.

Not to mention that every single day I have the pleasure of listening to some of the most erudite and compelling public sector broadcasting anywhere – from BBC Radio. 

And surely I have no more right to listen without paying, as has the head of Starbucks to ask to be patched up in an NHS A&E after a mysterious accident with a blueberry muffin, despite dodging the taxes that pay for it (now there’s a maliciously pleasing thought!).

So I’ve taken the moral high ground – I have now bought a license.

And no, it’s not because Match of the Day is only shown live, nor that I just can't wait to watch Strictly.  Rather, it's because I value the BBC, despite its present turmoil.  For as long as this is the system to pay for it, I will put my money where my mouth is. 

Now, I must go take this Voda-call and finish my chai-latte before the Amazon delivery arrives…