Friday, September 7, 2012

Maybe it's because I'm an Oldhamer...

Are you proud of where you come from?

I’m not. 

Only, I should add, as I believe you can only be truly proud of something which you yourself are responsible for.  It makes no more sense to be bigheaded of where you are born than boast of having two nostrils or brag that your country bagged loads of medals.  You didn’t achieve it, so how can you be proud of it?
But, by the same logic, I’m certainly not ashamed of it either.
So what does Wikipedia say about my hometown?  Early reports are not encouraging:  “A scattering of small and insignificant settlements spread across the moorland and dirt tracks which linked Manchester to York”, with “little early history to speak of”.  Cheeky tykes!
Nineteenth century visitors weren’t too gushing either:  John Marius Wilson in 1872 called it “dingy”, and in 1842 Angus Reach of Inverness described it in the Morning Chronicle as “a mean-looking straggling town [with] a shabby underdone look... filthy and smouldering” (and, with apologies to Invernesians, his ain ‘city’ is no Venice). 

To this day I hear the town of my birth derided – why, just the other week on Desert Island Discs, popular tv science heartthrob and one-time popstar Brian Cox  summed up on his childhood with the comment, ‘there aren’t many celebrities from Oldham’.
Really?

So where did our greatest ever leader, Winston Churchill, spend his formative years?  Elected in 1900, he learned his most important political lessons as MP for Oldham. 
And our greatest composer?  Sir William Walton, place of birth:  Oldham (we can’t seriously claim Frideric Handel of Halle-Wittenberg).

Great sportsmen come and go, but not so long ago David Platt was captain of England whilst the mighty Mike Atherton his cricketing counterpart - Oldhamers both.  And of course Oldham Athletic are the best football team on earth!  (Ok that’s moot – but they do have the highest ground in England, which is pretty much the same thing right?).
And when it comes to business, only a century ago Oldham was the most productive cotton spinning mill town in the world.  The town spun more cotton than France and Germany combined (and if you don’t believe me you can check for yourself – just read Oldham Council’s 2008 ‘Contaminated Land Strategy’!). 

What about science?  Well, there’s Louise Brown of course.  What do you mean you’ve never heard of her?  Only the world’s first test tube baby.  Where did this historic event  take place?  Oldham General Hospital, of course!
Impressive eh?  So why do I only ever read bad things about the town?  (Ironic given that the UK's largest newspaper publisher, Trinity Mirror, pumps a large chunk of its papers from its huge printworks in, you guessed it, Hollinwood Avenue (Oldham).

I don’t deny there’s a downside – the first by-election of this Parliament was due to disgraced Oldham MP Phil Woolas being thrown out of office after illegal race smears, the first ruling of its kind in 99 years.  And we could have done without him getting "white folk angry", after the shameful race riots which started in the town in 2001.  And when it's not communities being blown apart it's gas explosions...  
Maybe I’ll just say I’m from Saddleworth instead, as that’s where I grew up.  You know, Saddleworth – renowned for its beautiful Pennine setting, Whit Friday band contest of Brassed Off fame, just over the hills from Last of the Summer Wine country.  Oh no, because of course when I say Saddleworth everyone thinks of the bloody moors murders…

I don’t think I can win this one, so I withdraw to my local Yates’ wine lodge with a pint of Lees and cheeky plate of chips. 
And then I brighten.  Yates’, Britain’s oldest pub chain, opened in 1884.   The first chip shop:  John Lees’, founded in 1858 at Tommyfield Market.  And where do you think these seismic events happened?  Oldham, of course.

So maybe it’s because I’m an Oldhamer, but I think the town of my birth has much to be proud of, and I for one love Oldham town.

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